we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
