I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
