You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
