is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
