Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
