me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
