its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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