Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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