Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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