I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
