It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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