Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
