People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
