I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
