I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
