The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No I am not eating basil off your cock
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize