Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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