Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
