Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
