its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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