I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize