So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize