I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
