I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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