Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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