You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize