ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
