My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize