you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
