Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
