My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
