i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
