I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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