I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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