And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
