The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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