I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
