I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
