your thong is hanging out like whoa
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
