so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
