i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize