We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
