Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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