how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize