You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Enjoy the penises
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize