I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
