he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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