If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
