she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
