and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
