this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You ruined the universe
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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