Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
