he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
