I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
