You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
