Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
