I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize