At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the condom got lost in my hair
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
