Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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