Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
do herpes really smell.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
