Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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