garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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