Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
