He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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