i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
