No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
